Once again the world is agog with fresh news about Prince William and Kate and the royal family. Generally I look upon the British monarchy with detached bemusement. I don't get too worked up about them one way or the other, and if the English and most of the western world want to go bananas over them that's fine as long as they have no real political power.
But as I assess their potential impact on my daughter I'll need to engage in some mass stereotyping AND armchair sociology here which should be fun for all and dangerous for some. I know the Cinderella theme is alive and well in most women across the world. The belief that, no matter my background, deep inside I'm special...I'm royalty -- and it's only a matter of time before I'm discovered and then my dreams will come true. Guys have this too but it's more along the lines of "it's only a matter of time before an NBA scout sees the talent inside me and signs me to a contract." Heave another 3 pointer at the driveway hoop. Clang.
I feel bad for poor Kate Middleton, although she opted in for this, unlike William and Harry who were born into the frenzy. Sure, you get to be Princess and someday Queen, assuming the current queen ever decides to call it a reign. You get to live in a big-ass house and you get footmen named Nigel and Clive to iron your clothes and fetch a pint. You get to attend fancy balls where you'll smile pretty for the cameras and shake hands with the Agricultural Minister of Upper Bushwackistan. You can forget worrying that your 401k is underfunded. You can walk into your health club and have the following conversation with your fellow exercisers: "That's right ladies, it's the friggin' Princess. Now make way while I work on the Royal Abs." That is, assuming you ever go out in public again like a normal person.
On the downside, you are now the most scrutinized woman in the world. You step outside, you make the evening news. You change clothes, you make headlines. Vegas bookmakers now have you as the new favorite to surpass Jennifer Aniston as the US Weekly cover photo career titleholder, and this with Ms. Aniston currently holding a 2,214 cover lead. God forbid you step outside with a wedgie, because 30 seconds later some rain farmer in Bangladesh who's standing in 2 feet of water will look at your picture on his iPhone and mutter, "That skirt is all wrong for her."
Now that I have a daughter I'm worried that I need to pay more attention to the William and Kate franchise and what it means for young girls everywhere, or at least mine. Amid all of the hullabaloo lurks the human existence-old theme that a woman's most important career goal is to marry well. Just when you think you've nearly killed off that old patriarchal axiom here come the Windsors and People Magazine to pull out the paddles and yell, "Clear!" in 72 point font.
Jenna grew up smack dab in the middle of the Disney Princess marketing machine and we've got the DVDs and the costume dresses to prove it. Really, it's no different than boys putting on a Favre jersey and one day hoping to grow up and throw interceptions for a living. But will the relentless media hype about the royals subconsciously influence my daughter's relationship and career behavior? When she is finally of marrying age, will all of this lead to Jenna holding out for Prince Charming to come along? If this means she doesn't move out of the house until Mr. Unrealistically Perfect comes along then we're going to have a problem. Will I have to be the realist that pushes her toward the good-enough local candidate? Is this where "settling" comes from? "Jenna, what's wrong with good ol' Chester here? He's got a good job, he's never been to prison, and he has most of his fingers. Plus, I want to convert your room into a sauna."
William and Kate, I'll be keeping my eye on you. Along with 2 billion other people.
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