Dave's 2013 New Year's Resolutions

1. I'm not going to lose weight, I'm going to reduce my atmospheric displacement.
2. This year, get the extra 9 yards and pass Eric Dickerson.
3. Reduce my exposure to second-hand HGTV.
4. When people at the office ask me to print in landscape mode, don't mis-hear it as "manscape" mode.
5. Less jeggings, more jorts.  Gird yourselves accordingly.
6. Live by the WWTECD credo:  What Would The Expendables Cast Do?
7. Acquire weapons of mass destruction; use as deterrent for potential suitors of my teenage daughter.