1. Get my Milli Vanilli tribute band back together again.
2. Ask Derek Jeter to stop pestering me for advice with the ladies.
3. Less leather pants, more leather chaps.
4. Find words that rhyme with "Connecticut" for my new book of limericks.
5. Wear a cape and mask when I use my super power. What's my super power? Blowing through an annual medical deductible before the end of January.
6. Dance in public less than the 1 time I did in 2011.
7. 1 less heat-driven, tequila-accelerated trip to the ER.
8. Play a round of golf where I don't lose a single ball. Bwah-hah-hah! Who am I kidding? No chance.
9. Finally enforce my patent on the comma. Better lawyer up, folks!
